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#penises
Is there like a thing in guy culture where guys compare penises? Like, do they actually stand around and hold their penises up next to each other, like, "yeah bro, my penis is real nice, but you got a good penis too"? Is this a thing?
Inquiring girls want to know.
Some days, having a penis is an utter annoyance. Other days, you think hell yes, I have a penis. #penises
#AdHocHypothesis time.
We think of #MorningWood as being caused by the day/night cycle, but what if we have it wrong? What if male mammals are actually part of a terraforming-like system, with an adaptation that causes them to have a blood-flow reaction at a certain rhythm, every 24 hours, and this constant wave of motion throughout the world creates a torque effect, leading to the rotation of the Earth itself?
People, I'm saying that #PenisesMakeTheWorldGoRound.
The #NittyGritty #411 On #Balls
Are you completely mystified by these hanging #appendages? Don’t worry — we got you. While #penises get top billing in the #puberty #pantheon, #testicles are actually just as important because it’s where #male #puberty begins. Plus, we’re #moms and know that #boys run around talking about “#balls” ad nauseam.
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #SexEd
https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/the-nitty-gritty-411-on-balls-from-your-fellow-boy-moms
I'd like to recall a prayer from our dearly departed favorite comedian #georgecarlin, but only the part where everyone can jump in and get a little for themselves. #god, if you are really here in #Mastodon ..oh Lord, please make all our #penises larger and girthier than absolutely necessary, 6 inches to start but 8 inches average. For the #feminine folk among us, give us big #boobs that just float weightlessly and never sag. We ask for #orgasms that last hours with friction free action, amen 
PSA for men who cook: After you chop a chili pepper do not – I repeat, do not – go for a pee without washing your hands like your life depends on it.
Don’t ask me how I know. Just trust me when I say chilis and penises do not mix and this is definitely not the kind of fire you want in your pants.
Ow.