CONTENT WARNING: suicide, grief, depression
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Given how dire things are in the world right now, I hesitate to share this. But this is where I'm at, and what's the point of sharing at all if we're not being genuine?
I might redo this comic and/or add color...or I might just leave it as-is. We'll see. I want to sit with it for a bit.
I have a lot of anger at my dad for a lot of things, but mostly not his suicide. Even at 11, I knew what it was like to feel suicidal, and I understood what it was like for life to feel unbearable. He was a large part of the reason *why* I often felt that way, and so it was complicated. Life was easier once he was gone. Suicide was NOT the way to solve that problem. But life got a little easier, at least for me, and that's just a fact. But his death was devastating all the same. I'm not sure anyone ever fully recovers from losing someone to suicide. I sure haven't.
I can't help but notice here though how when I drew this I wondered if the music might possibly stay his hand, when looking at our pictures did not. That says a lot, I think.
There's so much to say about my dad, my family, my past, all of it - and I'm working on it. But this comic is mostly just full of love.
I'm grateful that at least right now, today, this week, I'm in a better place. I'm grateful for all the times that's true. And I'm glad he's no longer suffering.
Dad, despite all of it, I love you.
See the original post here:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/wishing-you-hear-121426001
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